Daily Hill H. Dosage

Ya'll know that I don't ever get enough of my man, aka future husband he just dont know it yet, Hill Harper. Well Hill is coming out with a book on healthy relationships in the black community.It comes out in stores September eighth! Can we say woot woot? I'm getting two!hehe.He's already done two books for young people, this one is for adults. I definitely dig his committment to our betterment. It just makes me love him more. BTW isn't the pic with the dog ADORABLE?!? Swoon, I heart him!

Ummm...okay?

So today's Ummm Okay? moment goes to.....Snoop Do-Oh-Double. The above picture was taken at a party in St.Tropez over the weekend. So...that's how we're doing it now, Snoopy? This bothers me for a number of reasons the most obvious is THIS NEGRO'S MARRIED, and THAT is not his wife. He had a whole show dedicated to his RE-dedication to his family, his wife and marriage. Snoop the Family Guy was a hard pill for most to swallow, but eventually they did. And they gave him props, I included, in stoppin the bufoonery that was his whole pimp and ho' mentality that he had a hand in running rampant through our community.

I see old dogs clearly CANT learn new tricks. smh. This is the reason women need to be very careful who they mate, and procreate with. If the man isn't treating you right, having his children will not make him do so. That will just bring more drama into YOUR life, coparenting with a man that doesn't respect you or his committment to you. This why I'm squimish about the whole monogamy, marriage thing. The institution is beautiful and sacred but it has been muddied over so many times that it simply doesn't hold the value it once did. People don't feel cheating is a big deal. IT IS A BIG DEAL! If your not ready to commit, don't get married! Plain and simple,simple and plain. Siiiiigh. Im through.

Friday Eye Candy: Mr.Legend

Sigh, it's that time again. And yes, I know you haven't been getting your day to day rundown of yours truly but a girl's been having some technical and emotional issues lately. I told you before you're gonna have to ride with me through the kinks, but I promise, give me six months and ya girl will have her own laptop and *hopefully* a blackberry to keep Chatterbox updated.

So....anyway, back to why we're here. Eye Candy o' the day. And today it is John Legend. Mr. Legend is aptly named, in a sea of mediocre artist all singing about bumpin and grindin, he's the rare new schooler with some class and some brains. John has three albums under his belt and they're all brilliant! His newest being Evolver, which gave us the oh so singable hit "Green Light". Everytime I need to go someplace, the grocery store to the bathroom I'm singing "I'm ready to go right nooooow". LOL. I love John for being a true artist, musician, vocalist and GENTLEMAN in a world of oversexed casinovas. He does my heart good, and he's not too bad on the eyes either.
Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Mommy/RIP Aaliyah

Today is Chatterbox's mommy's bday. I am so happy to have the fam I have. I've already given the proverbial happy birthday "I love you mommy" call. She's not big on such occasions so there's no big to do involved. Just letting her know that I love her and glad she was born, cuz if not...I wouldnt be here!!!!

On a sadder note, my lovely momma shares her date of birth with the date of death for such a beautiful and talented young woman. It scares me that it's been eight years!!! It doesn't feel that long ago. Anyone who knows anything about me knows I was a HUGE Aaliyah fan. She was my everything. In a sea of uber sexy big booty artists, Aaliyah was smooth and subtly sexy. She had a cool factor that couldn't be matched. She was flyy! Dance moves, fashion, everything she did, I wanted to do!!!! I even did a posthumous tribute to her in a talent show. And in my unbeweaveable days I was a dead ringer for her. It almost scared people when I put on the shades and leather pants. That was my GIRL! And I still miss her. I cried like a baby when she died, I cried like she was really my sister or something. A little peice of RnB music (especially new contempary RnB) died with Ms. Haughton, and it hasn't been duplicated since. Nobody and I mean nobody fills Aaliyah's shoes. And nobody ever will. God bless her spirit. She will always live on in my heart, and my leather pants!

Don't Throw Your Pearls Amongst Swine!

So Im up on this Tuesday morning, a-strolling for blog topics and I happen upon a vid by my lovely girl Jia. Jia of Jia TV is what I call an all the way real sister. She talk alot of ish but she can back it up! So low and behold she has what I call "Put'em on Blast" moment that got me to thinking. Synopsis of Jia's plight, she met a man, thought said man was cool, decided to sleep with said man and it was...HORRIBLE! Needless to say I'm sure that man probably regrets ever dissapointing Miss Thing because now his lack of skill in the bedroom is YouTube fodder for thousands, if not millions of people to laugh at. Sad story, I know.

However my point in even bringing something of this nature up is to explain why I'm celebate. Oh wait, you didn't kno that did you? Well now you know. Ms.Chatterbox is abstaining, until further notice. And contrary to belief, I'm not "saving it" for marriage. I'm "saving it" for a real true connection to another being I feel worthy of giving myself to. Ergo, my title, why throw your pearls before swine? I hate to have to hit ya with a Bible verse but it applies. Think about how most men behave, pretty swine like if ya ask me. There's even a condom commercial where all the men ARE swine except the one that brings protection. Things that make you go hmmmm.

I truly feel as if women should learn the power of their vagina. Yes, vagina. I should warn that I tend to be a little unihibited with the sex talk. You've been warned! Your vagina is an amazing tool. A life giving force, a receptive power that not only recieves but gives. It gives the greatest gift of all: ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE! Now for something so powerful we have reduced our sexuality to body parts and their sizes and totally forgot the spiritual aspect of sex. Yes, there's a spiritual aspect to sex! That is why people will be quick to tell you there's a difference between having sex and making love. What exactly is the difference? Does your body behave differently, do parts grow that weren't there during unattached sex? No! What's different is there is more than a physical connection with the person you are involved in the sex act with. You normally care very much about the person and ergo making the act more loving, more beautiful, more personal.

Don't get me wrong, sex is a beautiful thing. It's how we all got here! And there's something very spiritual about the connecting of two beings to make another one. However, where Jia and many other women break my heart is that they choose people unworthy of the gift of being inside their vagina. Seriously! It's like finding out that you have gold in your backyard, only to carelessly flail it in the streets or give it to a crackhead for them to sell your precious gold for five dollars and a fix. Most unenlightened men...are like crackheads! Sex is just a fix for them. It's something they NEED, not something they desire and are willing to work to get. For them, your vagina was just a means to an end, an orgasm, or in some cases just ejaculation. We'll get into true orgasms later. They don't care about pleasing you, pleasing YOU wasn't even on the agenda. They got what they wanted, so YOU don't matter. And you let this no good excuse of a man have the most precious thing you've GOT!

Now I'm not saying that the vagina is like a frequent flyer card, or a bank account. There is no such thing as a used up, or overrun vagina. The amount of traffic does not a "good" or bad vagina make. You need'nt count on fingers and toes HOW MANY men you've been with because in the long run it truly doesnt matter. Each experience is different, and each experience serves a purpose, whether your aware of it or not. Most...are not. So they continue to sleep with people that are truly undeserving, and then wind up dissapointed. It's not the man whom you gave it up to's fault if he did not please you, especially if you never say anything. But if we're dealing with someone you barely know, you usually don't feel comfortable telling that man he's not doing it right. Afraid he may just blow up and go crazy because of his fragile ego being bruised. So that's the purpose of being with men that you know will cherish your treasure, instead of selling it for five dollars. Men who truly appreciate women are all about pleasing that woman. REAL MEN don't need instruction manuals on how and when to please a woman.

So be choosy my sisters, be safe and be careful. And know that you are precious and worth more than gold and any man who doesn't realize that...is NOT WORTH YOUR TIME!

Until next time

Chatterbox

Friday Eye Candy: Two For One!

Since I've been slacking on my blogging pimping lately I decided to give you a twofer in the hotness category. First, being super sexy super talented Maxwell (no last name needed). Maxwell has been hot for almost a decade,truly a feat in this fickle industry of comers and goers. It's not only his pretty mug that gets the women a-swooning, but also his extreme talent as well as his deep, honest and beautiful lyrics. He is truly a testament that good music, has not died completely. And if he can keep looking like that while doing it...then I'm all ears.

Honarable Mention

Oh TJ, TJ, TJ how we heart thou. I'll keep my comments about Mr.Holmes brief, since I wouldn't want a cyber beat down from Danielle of BlackSnob. It is thanks to Ms.Snob that I am even aware of the beauty that is TJ Holmes. Since I am not a big CNN gawker, I conviently missed this gawjus specimen of a man. So I thank her and CNN for giving me a reason to watch the news outside of the other man of my dreams: Mr.President, aka the Sexiest President to hit the Oval Office EVER! So enjoy, ladies, your two for one on this lovely Friday. Still more to come. Black men are beautiful.

Love you guys!

Smooches!

Chatterbox

Can It Be Done????

Okay in the vein of friendship, there's this age old question that never seems to be answered satisfactorily: Can men and women be JUST FRIENDS??? My answer: Why, of course! Why? Because any one is capable of being anything to another person. Excuse my graphic langauge but just because you were born with a vajajay and he with a penis doesnt mean that you somehow must get it on with each other. What ever happen to this thing called self discipline. Because I've heard folks say "Well if your both attracted to one another...". And my question back to them is "How many people have you been physically attracted to that you slept with?" We're human, so yes we'll be attracted to one another. But that doesn't mean you always ACT upon said urges.

I honestly have more male friends than female. It's always been that way. I've just always been more attracted and comfortable around male energy. Blame it on having five brothers. See, in the above picture of my sexy future husband, he's with his FRIEND. He and Gabby have been friends for years! And I'm guessing because she's attractive, and he's attractive,people assume they have to have slept together, RIGHT? Wrong. Folks it is possible to like the company of the opposite sex with out it having to hit the sheets. We live in a very hormone driven world. And the fact that anyone can do without immediately satisfying whatever urges they may have is more forgien to people than a pig speaking Latin.

I seriously encourage plutonic male companionship, how else are you going to be aware of how men behave toward you or women in general outside of a relationship. It helps you learn about yourself, as well as teaches you a lot about MEN...trust me, talking to your girlfriends about men all the time is not the way to go. Go to the source, it will make your love life easier. Let me also add that plutonic friendships CAN turn into romantic ones, but being friends FIRST, and only friends with no hidden agenda, can strengthen the relationship in ways you couldnt imagine. Lovers turn into boyfriends, FRIENDS, true friends, turn into husbands. Believe that.

So I urge you, take that risk...be JUST FRIENDS, and see what comes out of it. You'd be pleasantly surprised at how full your life will become when men serve more purpose in your life than just a temporary, fleeting presence.

Over and out

Ms.Chatterbox

Friends...How Many of Us Have Them???

Now in light of the fact that as of late, I have seen no news worthy of being blabbed about. Obama health care, blah blah blah, birthers, yada yada yada. Don't get me started YAWNING about the who's not Hollyweird. I'm just bored with NON news. So, I take it upon myself to talk MY news. And today I wanna talk to you guys about friendship. True brotherhood, sisterhood. It's a rare occurance in this day in age. Most people become friends with someone because it's somehow a benefit to them. It's a use/use relationship. And, to me, nowhere near the true reflection of what true friendship is.

To let you in on a little tid bit about me, the friends department of my life has not always been my strongest suite. Honestly, it's a rare occurance that I find a true blue friend that I can truly depend on. I'm reminded of the Whoodini song my dad loves so much "Friends". Outside of the outrageously funky beat and awesome bass from the hayday of hip hop, the message is a real one: How many of us can say we have true friends? By my recollection I've had one close friend in close to five years. And that train just got stalled not to long ago. But, I have faith yet because I met someone who has the potential to be one of the greatest human beings that I've ever come in contact with. And yeah, you can say I'm a little excited!

Reason being, us black women, don't seem to like each other very much. We pick each other apart, "hate" on each other constantly, feel as if we have to be in competition for MEN (which is the reason for many a friendship ending, and you KNOW I'm telling the truth.) It just seems we don't have a lot of love for each other. And what's so crazy, is if we came together, truly came together we'd have a support system that would be unrivaled by any relationship with a man. True sisterhood, is like a blue moon, it don't happen but every once in a while. Real friends are hard to come by, and hard to keep so HOLD ON TO THE ONE'S YOU GOT. Your friendships are the building blocks to a healthy life. So if you have a true blue, hold on to that sister...because it will benefit you in the long run.

Much sisterly love to ya

Ms. Chatterbox

We're Not THAT Different

So there's an issue that never gets old with black women and that is HAIR! What to do with it, to go natural, to straighten, to weave, to perm. There's a serious identity attachment to our follicles and how they are presented to the world. Now over here on this side of the blog world, NATURAL RULES. To me, there's nothing more beautiful and more freeing than being 100% who you are, and that means accepting yourself and that includes your hair.

But as I got to thinking about all the energy we expell on the subject of beauty here in Western civilization I realized its not just BLACK WOMEN! It's women, period. Think about it. White women straighten their natural curly locks to look more chic, the color their darkly colored hair to lighter blonde colors to seem more attractive, Japenese women go through painful hair straighteners to get their hair to lay stick straight, Latin women too. I mean pretty much all WOMEN go through SOMETHING to alter their natural state of being to be accepting to the unattainable standard beauty in this country. So I wanted to take a minute and let you know, black women, as much as you have days where you become frustrated with your thick unruly hair, your skin, or anything else that you feel uncomfortable with, realize your not alone. There's a white woman who's hair isn't blonde enough, an Asian woman who's hair isn't straight enough, a Latina who feels the same about her brown skin and kinky hair. We ALL go through the pangs of trying to fit ourselves into the A-standard of beauty.

Honestly, we are all not that different and if we found the simalirities in our struggle instead of always emphasizing the differences we'd realize, we're all women, and we're all awesome in our unique God made skin, hair and bodies. So next time you see that (insert nationality here) woman and either envy something she has you dont, or figure she wouldn't understand what you're going through. Think again. Love each other sisters,

Ms.Chatterbox

btw: How cool is Miss Thing with her fro at the top!

Please forgive me

I know the blog has been a bit sparse the last couple of days. I am truly sorry. But for those who don't know...blogging is hard. Imagine having to find something relevant to speak of every day. Something thought provoking and intriguing! Hard stuff I'm telling you! So there might be days I just don't feel inspired to run my mouth about something. But I will do my best to diligently be proactive and consistent. I really DO want here on The Files to be GREAT! But between work and soon to be school you guys are gonna have to be patient with me. I love you!

You are what you eat!

Okay so I'm sorta speaking literally on this one. And yet...I'm not. Do you realize that every single thing that you do, speak and eat has an affect on your life. Positively or adversely. It's called Karma folks and please believe that it's real! So when I say that you ARE what you eat...I mean that as seriously as I can. You ever ate something that looked soooo good, smelled GREAT but you knew it wasn't good for you? And almost immediately after you ate it, you began to feel bad. In every aspect of life, that's the case. If something isn't good for you, and you consume it, it BECOMES you. Especially if you do it repeatedly for a long period of time. The mind and body are very receptive things. If you feed it crap, then crap you will be.

So for anyone curious enough, I am vegan/vegetarian. I'm slowly on the track to be fully vegan, however. What's the difference, you ask? Well as a vegetarian your "allowed" to eat animal by product, ie. cheese and milk and eggs. As a vegan you eat things from the Earth. Nothing that had a parent will be part of your meal. It's hella hard to do, believe me. However, the alternative, is no alternative at all. I will go into detail about why I'm veganterian in a later post, because this post is two sided.

I had an expereince very recently that had happened repeatedly and it still scares me. Now, by no means am I anti-Hip Hop. Im an 80s baby and a 90s child. There's no way I could soundtrack my life without it. However for the most part, hip hop has taken an extreme nosedive. And as a result, it lost me as a lover. Now I have a passing indifference to it. So imagine my horror, when I hadn't listened to a particular vulgar song in months and the words just flowed from my lips subconsiously like I had just been listening to it. Your mind and body have memory people! You ARE what you eat! Like if you ate something really pungent, your body and breath may smell of it for days. It's true!

So I say that to say, be extremely careful what you say, what you eat and listen to...as it influences you and your life. Think positively, eat healthfully and BE HAPPY! Behave and live in happiness and I promise you will feel 100% better.
Til next time
Chatterbox

Inspired: Now THAT's what I'm talking about

Here in The Files, I talk about issues...and celebrities are the easiest examples in that regard. But this is by no means a celebrity blog. For the most part, if their comings and goings aren't poignant to the conversation, then I really don't care. But today I have found inspiration in Solange. She's rockin the 'short do.(Taking after myself, mind you) She looks stunning. And I admire she not afraid to go balls to the wall and just DO HER. Even standing next to her sister, Weave Queen of the World she looks stunning. Go Solo!

The New Age Question: To Date or Not to Date....

White men that is. This an issue that keeps coming up again and again in my mind. Now, I personally, have a love for the bruthas that goes way deeper than just the physical. It's just something ABOUT a black man, it can't be bottled and again, in my opinion, no other race has. But in a world where black men, more or less good black men are more rare than Polar Bears. If their not dead, or incarcerated, alot of them (especially here in Atlanta, Georgerrr) are "how you doin'?" if ya know what I mean.

So what is a fly, sophisticated sista to do? Especially once she reaches a certain level of status or education that seems to render black men defensive children. You can't make more than them, you can't be more successful, it just will not do. Your collueges as well as the men in your neighborhood are either married OR white. So...why not? Right? Well WRONG, if your from where I'm from. No matter what, my daddy has told me, NO WHITE MEN! Why? Well I guess it goes against all things progressive to mix races. But wouldn't that be "progressive" within itself???*shrugs* Now given that these men are not fetishing black women and truly just want to find love then my opinion is: Go for it! Do you! Middle finger to all who don't like it!

The dating game is hard out here for a single black woman. The last thing you should do is cut down your prospects MORE by trying to exclusively date one race. We are all people, two eyes, one nose, two ears. All different beautiful colors, ONE RACE. Human. So broaden yourself and horizon and be all inclusive. You'll learn much more about life when the barriers come down. So go 'head, Ms.Chatterbox gives you full permission. Get your swirl on! Make sure you're safe, aware and conscious while dating, but date you must! Have a smorgus board, poo platter of all the beautiful men there are. God bless.

SOFTD: The Late Greats

Im always listening to music. Though my tastes are extremely varied my heart belongs to jazz. Im talking real true jazz from the Jazz Era. Duke, Coltrane, Miles, Dizzy. The Late Greats. There's nothing like authentic jazz. It eases the spirit, in my opinion, in ways no other genre can. Turn on a jazz song from Coltrane and see if it doesn't take you somewhere else. So in honor of that feeling I give you Monday's Song of the Day. Enjoy!

Easy Like Sunday Mornin'.....

Happy Sunday to all you lovely Kathy's out there. I just want to say if you've checked out my blog, even if just to skim...THANK YOU! I plan on doing my utmost to make this blog great so...again, I appreciate it. We will discuss many things here in The Files. The Sunday post will usually be reflective of the week. I talked alot about self image, self esteem and self worth this passed week. I also touched on how much we black women seem to lack all of the latter. So on Sunday's retrospective I'm gonna share a recent, and personal story to show you how it affects all of us. And if you've gone through it, your not alone.

I was working out in the gym with my cousin...who by the way is one of the most gorgeous women you'll ever meet! So there we were, she with her flowing raven locks, gorgeous cinnamon complexion and me no makeup or hair to speak of. We saw these two men, both GORGEOUS. One politely made eye contact and smiled at her. She even told me he flirted a little. I couldn't help to glow green with envy thinking: Oh if only I had hair, skin, a body like HER...then maybe. And then I stopped myself. I realized I don't need a man in my life who doesn't like me for ME. Not the fake hair I can sew into my head or the makeup I can pile onto my face. This is me, straight, no chaser. You don't like it...that's fine. I'm positive someone will. However, I am human and I have feelings. Many times our feelings of self worth as women, especially Westernized black women, is tied up in our physical features. How big, long, or light something on ourself is. Instead of how giving, loving, nuturing, or kind we are. We worship asthetics...and the trickle down affect has been one of a great detrement to our esteem. We affirm our happiness, success or value by what we wear, what we look like, who thinks we're attractive, ect. We dont find the time to love ourselves for just being OURSELVES. Uniquely God made us! Its much harder than it sounds.

So I leave you with this today: Try and take some time to focus on things YOU like about you (damn what somebody else thinks!). Write it down, say them out loud. Validate them, over and over again. And know that God created you JUST the way you are for a reason. So love that person you see. In turn, I garuntee people will love you back.

Reflection

This is an idea that just popped into my head. And for that I'll make it the last post of the day. We all should take a moment, every day, to reflect. Reflection is what keeps your mind from being overcluttered with the crap of the day. We run so much, doing and being. It's nice to take a moment and just think. Inhale, exhale..and reflect on the deep things of life. So to help with that...I'll share with you words from a very wise man. Osho is a sage of sorts, his theories might not be agreeable to everyone, but if you listen with an open heart and open ears...you will truly hear something incredible. Enjoy

SOFTD: My Tastes Vary

I love a great song. I really doesn't matter who the artist is. And to show you that I'm kinda of a *closet* rocker and I've been on an alternative kick lately (since RnB and hip hop disappoint me in so many ways) I'll share one of my fav. bands. No Doubt (and Gwen by default) are GREAT! I love their music. "Bathwater" is one of those feel good songs that just make you wanna dance. And the lyrics are great, because we all have that crush that you would literally suck down their dirty bathwater because we're that infatuated. Been there, maybe still there. *smile* Enjoy!

Aint No Prez like the one WE got!

Sooooo...about a month ago I posted the above picture on my Facebook as a testament to the "coolness" of our president. Now I don't endorse smoking, however,I know that he does(cigarettes, blah Barack!).But LAAAWWWD, he look good doing it...so can we just take a moment and recognize how freaking COOL Obama truly is. I mean the man is not only FINE, but he's cool as hell, an awesome father and husband (to the flyest of fly Michelle). I know it's not Friday yet but I just had to post and give omage to what will go down in history as the flyest, coolest, sexiest MoFo to ever reside in the White House. If only I could happen upon a man with Obama's "swagg". He's tops in my book! Second to Hill of course, but hey, birds of a feather. Just enjoy the awsomeness of the pic. Yes, Obama, yes you can...any time anywhere. Sexy self. *sigh* Okay, I'm done.

Pregnancy is the new sexy!

Okay so clearly I missed the memo, because pregnant is most definitely the new sexy! Hell...it's damn there the new black! smh. This phenomena wouldn't concern me as much if these women were all married or at least in stable relationships. But most of the women dropping these biscuits don't have a man to speak of. And it's suddenly "trendy" to be with child. That's really a big no-no in my book. The fact that all these women seem to be downplaying the serious nature that is a)childbirth and b) motherhood is why we have babies raising babies. Parenting is some real serious, hard work. And it's a two person job. You didn't MAKE the baby alone, so why are we raising so many alone? The fact that it's now "cute" to be popping out babies vexes my spirit in ways you can't imagine.

The above women being considered the "it" people and also shows like 16 and Pregnant (which comes on MTV) expose an ever rising trend of young women who are having babies, not just out of wedlock, but completely alone! This is a big deal and I for one can't sit by and act as if it doesn't bother me. Pregnancy and parenting, and everything that comes with it should be something you go in with complete consideration and caution. For the sake of yourself and your unborn child.
*note: Tisha Campbell is married, however the rest of the ladies...um no!

SOFTD: What Real Music Is!

So to combat the tomfoolery of my last post I end the day by posting the proverbial Song of The Day. This will be whatever I'm feeling at the time. And since I just watched the uberliciously awesome 100 Greatest Songs of the 90s (VH1's countdowns are about the best thing they bring to television) it's gonna be an oldie but goodie. I'm pretty all over with tastes in music but today I'm gonna kick it straight 90s yo!

Nothing says 90s more to me than En Vouge. Gorgeous, talented, sexy, classy. They had it all! The epitome of what a girl (women) group should be! Enjoy!

Ummm...okay?

So in today's Ummm...okay? moment I'm gonna discuss something I probably shouldn't but will anyway. Since moving to ATL i have been exposed to the phenomena that is Desperate Housewives, I mean Housewives of Atlanta. This is BIG here, so big the lady at the government's office swore that EVERYONE in Atlanta had seen the premier. I was thinking, I haven't, do I count? I stay away from most tom foolery, bufoonery and otherwise insanely stupid things that come on television in the name of "entertainment" featuring black folks. It's bad enough we had all three seasons of Flavor of Love and then New York and THEN Ray-J's trainwreck and all their spinoff's but see this...takes the cake. These women are behaving so atrociously I really don't have any words. But ummmm okay? Am I supposed to find this funny, amusing? These women bogged down in weaves and makeup, swirling necks and shouting expletives? Is this how the world sees black women. I want people who defend this malarchy as funny to imagine for a moment, I was a white person, with limited to no access to black people and I turn on Bravo to see NeNe and LeLe and KeKe and whomever else, head full of fake hair, eyes poppin out their sockets, cursing and flailing fingers and doing extremely childish and stupid things to one another. A GROUP of black women with supposed prominence and money at that? No wonder other races disrespect us and treat us all like a bunch of groupies and oversexed, undereducated fools. Look at what the media is showing you of us. And it's constantly pushed. I heard more from NeNe and whomever more than I heard about what President Obama was doing, or Michelle, or anyone with some sense of purpose and direction. Why are we constantly being shown these derogotory images of ourselves? And why do we continue to eat it, laugh at it as though it's funny. IT'S NOT FUNNY! It's sad and it makes me embarassed for these women, who are self indulgent,shallow and ignorant. If we don't watch it, if we demand something different...then maybe the thought process will change. Until then all I can do is shake my head.

And you can witness said buffoonery for yourself here....sigh

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

Friday Eye Candy:Oh Hill...I only have eyes for you

So the Black Snob has T.J Holmes, Jia has Trey Songz...who's my uber celebrity crush? Ask anyone I know, they know the answer. Two words, one name: Hill Harper. Now he's not the only tasty treat I will be featuring in the Oh...category. But he is the first, and will be the only one near and dear to my heart. So for obvious reasons, Hill's the bomb.com(thanx Jia) to me. The man is FIONE! Im talking drooling at the mouth, distracted from work fine! But what he also is, is brilliant, compassionate, caring and motivated.

I was introduced to Hill's loveliness through his second book Letters to A Young Sista:DeFINE Your Destiny, which got me through a really tough time in my life. His words made me realize that yes, good men really do exist and God even had the awesome notion to put them in a pretty package. The guy has two law degrees from Harvard (which he attended with the PRESIDENT) as well as enough letters behind his name to make alphebet soup. Now on top of all that smart and FINE, he's giving. Whenever he can he's arming young people with education on how to become and stay a successful and BALANCED person. What's cooler than that?

As someone who's been privy to a couple of his speeches I got to tell you the man got the spirit of a preacher! He knows how to sway with words of wisdom. And it don't help that he looks damn good in a suit. He could sell me snake oil with his sexy ass! *distracted* Oh yeah, so anyway Hill's a great guy! He gets flack for not whoring himself out for the world to see, so I'm constantly like: So for a guy not to be gay he has to want to jump your bones five seconds into meeting them? Hmmmm, you can keep THAT! I think the guy is tops and will probably refer to him and his comings and going alot here on Chatterbox. But yeah, enjoy the eye candy and know that good black men, they're out there. However, are YOU a good black woman???? Now THAT is the question. Enjoy!

*blog post update* Kay so I FINALLY got to a computer that can upload video. So check out this one of Hill, doing what he does best...changing the world, one gorgeous step at a time. Smooches!

Hair, there and Everywhere

So here on Chatterbox we not only give you the skinny on the who's who, or the who's NOT...we speak on issues that affect us (i.e young black folk spec. women). And what subject is more aggresively tackled than us and our hair! There's blogs, magazines, talkshows and now even MOVIES dedicated to the discussion of us and our follicles. So I decided to plunk down my two cents on the matter. And please believe, this isn't the last time. This isn't a "hair" blog but I will discuss it from time to time. This is the dissertation, however, so take notes.

If you were confused about my stance on the matter, you may wanna take a gander to that little picture in the corner by my profile. Im natural. I have been natural for almost three years, but I can honestly say I am more NATURAL now than I was when I first started. How so you ask? Well because we black women have 78,000 things we do to our hair. Between heat styling it, perming it, weaving, geling it and laying it to the side...that's a lot of stress on our poor little heads. So after considering myself "natural" while I wore wigs and weaves ,I finally gave those up, only to wear my "natural" straight with heat styling and lost all my curl and so TADA! Here I is with a TWA (teeny weeny afro for those who dont know "natural" lingo). And the world is now a better place for it. So to ask my opinion on black women and hair...is to ask my opinion on so much else as well.

So here's my approach: MOST OF US DONT THINK WE'RE BEAUTIFUL...unless your hair is straight or loosely curly or some variation in between. Not to mention LONG its got to be long and no matter how much money we waste on weaves and extensions instead of our own hair it shall never be LONG enough. All of that to say, its way deeper than just hair. It's self image and esteem. And we need to stop giving that image to other people. Especially those who dont look like you, or me...or any of us. We threw a tizzy when Solange cut her hair off, why? Not because it was like the upteenth time you've seen a bald celebrity but because her hair dont curl all nice and "pretty". It's thick, like MINE, like YOURS like all of ours!!! So attention (hold on to your seats for this one folks) ACCEPT YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE. Stop changing who you are so you can fit some ideal that will never be you. Embrace all that is awesomely cool about yourself instead of trying to look, act, dress like person A), B), or C). You are great! You are 100% beautiful just how God made you. No Yaki 1B, 18" is gonna make you more unique.

So for those out there still perming it, weaving, straightening, (STRESSING IT, really) take a moment and truly ask yourself WHY? Why are you doing this? For whom? Your job? Your boyfriend? Your relatives? Who's image are you upholding by not being 100% yourself. Because if it aint naturally you, it's somebody else. We've come too far and been fighting for too long for something like good vs. bad hair, and light vs. dark skin to stop us from being GREAT. So I say let thy kink shine, you can have just as much fun and creativity with your natural hair as it's straight counterpart. And you know what? It's easier! And cheaper too! We'll talk products later. But until next time I say to you sisters, LOVE WHO YOU ARE! Give yourself a hug and a compliment every morning. Affirm that your beautiful by behaving beautifully. And look in the mirror and love what's there. Curly, kinky, thick, nappy, coarse,thin in all it's glory. You are a precious reflection of God...and that hair...is to.

Check out Chris Rock doing a much needed documentary called Good Hair...its thought provoking, inquisitive and FREAKIN HILARIOUS! Enjoy!

Black Woman Thou Art Beautiful

Okay as my last post of the day, on the birthday of Chatterbox Files...I'm gonna do a reflective piece that I think ties into the rest of my ridonkulous but I feel very much needed posts. To me, as a black woman, we are some of the most amazing creatures on the planet. Our resiliency is amazing to me. We are the most GAWJUS women around. And yes I am one, so I may be a little biased. But we tend not to tell ourselves, or one another how beautiful, precious and God made we all are. We forget to love on ourselves, and do alot of naysaying and "hating"*raises hand* me included. However I'm saying starting today, we should all love one another for the fact that we're here, though there were times we thought we wouldn't make it. For us, our mother, our grandmothers and great grandmothers we need to stop worrying so much about what your fellow sister has that you don't, and focus on the beautiful similarities we all have. No matter how beautiful that girl may seem to you, I'm sure she's had her heart broken. No matter how fly she may be...I'm sure she has insecure days. So think for a moment, of just how special and perfect and beautiful we all are. Naturally. And may you have peace, love and soooouuuuul.
*kisses*
all photos courtesy of lecoil.com

First and Last Discussion: SuperHoe

Alright. This is a particularly lovely soapbox Im gonna stand on ONE time and then hence forth, never again. We gonna talk about the one, the only SUPERHOE! I mean...Karrine Steffans, lovingly known as Superhead. Ummm...yeah I know. Now in the vein of Miss Jia of www.missjia.com I am officially done with Ms.Thang. Between the first book and the last she has been, for me, just a ball of contradictions and confusion. For those who do not know, Karrine wrote a book called "Confessions of a Video Vixen" where she basically admitted to trists with everyone from Jay-Z to P.Diddy. I rode with her HARD when Confessions came out, thinking to myself "She's actually made something of herself as a woman who was abused, raped and dragged through the mud...I can dig it!" I didn't really care that she had slept with the whole entire Billboard 100 simply because I felt, and thought, that she was done with that lifestyle and focused on being an author and a mother. Boy...was I wrong! This woman, I feel, has many many issues that this "fame" and attention has only exaggerated. She may even have a personality disorder, the way she's drummed up this whole "fake marriage" thing. What we need to understand is no matter how beautiful a woman is, if she has not dealt with her issues...her beauty fades.

But what Im also gonna touch on is those who feel that she somehow deserves ridicule based on her past alone. She doesn't. What was done in the past is just that, THE PAST...but her continuance of the behavior is where she gets the *side eye*What she does need is an official "HOE SADDOWN" card for constantly attempting to drum up attention for herself. I use derogatory words only to illustrate the point of how it's hard to respect someone who constantly puts that respect up to question. Your action speak louder than your words Ms.Karrine. And if I were you I'd take the money you earned from airing your dirty laundry and put it towards some much needed INTENSE therapy for your attention addiction and chronic lying. I once heard "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results". We dont believe you Karrine. You need more people. I feel bad for her simply because she hasn't realized the damage she's doing to herself, as well as her reputation as a "writer". (pats Karrine on the shoulder) One day you'll learn...now go have a seat.

To end on a positive note I will say that if we as women begin to love one another and truly love ourselves...maybe a woman like Karrine would not be in existence. Then again...maybe she would. *shrugs*